Living so presently
Jul 15, 2024
Sometimes in the moments of living our lives so presently, the only thing we have space for is the moment we are in. That’s where I’ve been.
And in these moments, we have other moments that hold our attention and speak to us so loudly, that we cannot help but shift into new possibilities of showing up for ourselves.
I had a moment last week where I almost lost it. I felt in my system I was about to, and something so grounded somehow rolled off my tongue in a moments breath… almost not of me, and brought me to do something I have dreamt about for years…
I’m quite proud, really.
There was no huge alarm sent through the earth, but there was one sent through me. I could have climbed mountains after this.
I stood in line at Walgreens, waiting patiently… and I could feel her walk so close up to me, right behind me, waiting in line as well.
Her teenage son strolled to the magazine isle, calling back to her with headlines, and as I felt the wind from her breath sweep across my neck, I knew this may be the moment I finally live out this dream…
What is this dream, you ask?
I glanced behind me… the entire store is empty, there is no one behind her, and there is so much space… yet, if I place my available left hand on my hip, my elbow will touch her.
Why is she so close???
I stand in Gus Giordano Dance Studio in Evanston/Chicago at age 19, as a second company member. There is an unspoken homage to the in between space all around us. We all know not to stand too close to, in front of, or directly behind another dancer. It is just an innate knowing… a holy covenant, a sacred bow, and it is never violated.
Even as I dance through the open room, I know to keep the spacing, so I don’t block someone else out.
What good is having proprioception, the feeling of the distance to others and objects around us, if we aren’t using it?
And while I stand on the stunning various stages of North America as a Radio City Rockette, I know not to hover too close, even while standing directly next to the women on either side of me. Even then, we link arms without ever physically touching and keep our sacred space exactly that.
It is a form of respect and appreciation for the other person.
So why does she stand so close?
I hear Sting’s “Don’t Stand So Close To Me.” buzz through my ears.
As I realize I don’t want to play quietly in this area anymore, something deep within me comes gently and gracefully pouring out…
“Hi! I’m sorry, but it feels like you are right on top of me. Would you mind stepping back?”
I suddenly giggle out loud. It is a strong but soft, almost ridiculous giggle , and somewhere in that strong, ridiculous giggle… I am free.
I will never not ask that request again.
In fact, I’m so excited to repeat this experience.
I’m not sure if it is a moment or an awakening that she herself will choose to remember, or bring with her, that’s really not my responsibility. Perhaps she will hold more space for others moving forward. Perhaps she won’t.
I personally know i broke the ice for me… finally. I will request this again and again, allowing others to experience the moment however they choose to, and allowing me to exist in whatever room I’m in in a way that feels like my own human can exist comfortably and with space.
I exist.
And I am free.
And when someone hears me request this as I go along, perhaps they will step forward and say the ridiculous thing, too, that happens to be not so ridiculous after all. And perhaps we will awaken a ripple effect of awareness for the energy, breath and space of another, and the energy, breath and space that occupies our own being.
This begins a new conversation into the in between around us.
How can we see someone else, anyone else really, if we cannot grant space for the person to exist?
How can we know this space, if we cannot feel it in ourselves first?
Deepening our relationships with those we love cannot magically arrive… we must see and feel the space to open it, and open it to know it, and know it to repeat it.
And how do we do this? How do we deepen our relationships to those we love?
I’ll tell you.
Through awareness and practice.
And that’s my favorite thing to hold space for.
We want you to Move Beautifully!
Sign up for our newsletter today and receive a GIFTED full-length class to try at home!
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.
